Sunday, 8 August 2010
What happens to a person when they no longer remember what they're fighting for? Will they keep on fighting or just simply stop and wait for someone to tell them what it was? I think I forgot once and I think I stopped. Now I'm fumbling in the (light?) dark trying to find my way. I know I want to be good at something, or even the best, but I have forgotten what it was.
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Langston Hughes comes to mind:
"What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore-
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over-
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.
Or does it explode? "
Or Bruce Springsteen: "Is a Dream a lie if it don't come true, or is it something worse?"
...I'm sorry, that wasn't very cheerful. But to be honest I haven't been feeling very cheerful lately.
Back with more insight, at least self-insight. I remember what I wanted to be good at and know that I have irrevocably failed most of those. Almost every day I am reminded about my failed aspirations and that hurts, a lot. Maybe it is better to just feel lost rather than hopeless.
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